Dancing with the Bees

Monday morning I started out early to mow the front lawn and as I usually do I pushed my mower along my neighbors fence to just where the grass starts to get high.
My mower is old and cranky so it takes more than a few pulls to get it going. Finally I get it going. Suddenly I am attacked by ground bees (wasps) and I get bit all over. I start to run and these little bustards are getting me good. I run into the garage, but this is not the place to stop. Then I run into the house slamming the door behind me. Now I am mad and in pain from about seven or eight stings.

At this time my brain quits working and I am a body in motion with no abillity to reason. The body with no working brain rummages under the kitchen sink and comes up with a can of wasp spray. This can of wasp spray promises wonderful things. It will kill those little bustards on contact and will put out a 20ft spray.
Now my spouse urges this body with no working brain not to go back out there. Of course this falls on deaf ears. There is no reasoning with a brain that has gone far, far away.

Back outside I go to do battle with my trusty spray in hand. Now one might assume that 20 feet would be a safe distance, but the non-working brain doesn't realize that these little bustards can travel that far in about one/eighth of a second. Of course my trusty spray can is old and only puts out only a small spray and I get nailed on the hand. Now all the fight is gone out of me and I retreat to the house.

Now any sympathy that I might have engendered from spouse is gone as she marvels at my disheveled appearance and the fact that I got bit again, also she brings up the old, "I told you not to go back out there." Later on there will be peels of hysterical laughter on her part as I don two pairs of pants, two pair of socks, long-sleeved shirt, leather coat and two pairs of gloves as I go out for the final annihilation of the nest. You have got to understand, this is a cruel woman. Ok, for her part she did doctor me up with various potions, but it was really hard for me to get past the hysterical laughter I have had to put up in the last few days.